One of my books

Ive spent quite some time writing on one of my books

My first book was stitched together some years ago. I think I was around 20 or 21 when it was finished. It has the working title "kezan" and it started as a daydream on the bus to school when I was 15/16. I started writing it down as a short story. Quite good my classmates said, alltho they didnt have that great interest in horses.

I forgot it when I finished school, only to find it again when I intended school together with my best friend. I re-wrote it then, and continued writing. Before I knew it I had like 40 pages. In word. I decided I was to split it up into chapters and see where this would take me. And continued writing. And I ended up with an entire book about "me" and how I got to own my horse of my dreams.

And I wasnt done with that. I wrote a second book. Still about "me" and my horse.. and when I finished that, I started on the third one.
And while writing this, I transformed the notes from my roleplaying games to a novel as well.
And I started a fantacy book I called Nona for working title.

When I got sick, I stopped writing. For the last 3 years I havent been writing anything. A few weeks ago I was cleaning my desk, and I found the floppys with the novels and stories on. I managed to get them out and saved them on my PC. And I started writing again. The most secure sign I am well now.

I decided to leave the Kezan books be for the moment. The first two I allready had. The third one was so damaged I needed to start all over. 8 chapters in the trash can... just the same, I had fallen into a common trap for those writing: I had written myself into a blind gate. So I started the third book again, writing 2 chapters or so before I decided to put them all on ice and focus on my fantacy book Nona.
I decided so because I know those books are full of inconsistency and holes, and I need to edit it alot. And just to save me the problem of editing a whole lot of books, I'll just leave them be for now.

The roleplaying game is resting for the moment as well. I might start to write on it again, but I think I'll leave it for now.

And Nona...

The plot is about a young girl on the edge of becoming a woman, her name is Nona. She is to be a healer and a magician. In my worl, one is either a healer or a magician. It is quite normal to be a magician with some abilities as a healer or the other way around. But it is very rare to be equal of both AND be a very powerful magician and healer at the same time. Nona is VERY powerful and equal of both.

You have the legend of The Darkest Power and The Brightest Power creating the world together. The darkness wants to rule it all, like in all books you have the fight between good and evil. But in my story its not evil to be dark, or good to be bright. All is nesecary.
I decided that the bright power of life, of creation, it cannot change life, but it can create new life.
The dark power cannot create new life, but it can change life. So both is needed. The darkness doesnt understand that and does what it can to take over. the brightness had created the Child of Light, who is to bring total balance in the world.

And no, Nona is NOT that child *chuckles*

Anyway, Ive written quite a lot on that story by now. Some friends of mine tells me it is very good, and should have good chances of being published. It could be. Is it important to me to get published?
I dont think so

Do I care if others dislike or like my book? of course! Wouldnt everyone want to hear that they have created something good? that others will be just as produd of ones creation as one self? I would be really hurt to be told my story stinks.
I am well aware that it might be impossible, or at least very dificult to come through the needle eye. But I have this imagination that even if Im not good enoug to publish, It doesnt mean I stink. It simply means the world isnt ready for what I create. It might never be. It might be next year. Who knows?

I will finish my book. At least I will have great fun writing it. I might even be published. And If I do, I will remember those that supported me and pepped me into believing I CAN DO THIS