WHAT a day!

woke up this morning with chestpains.. that kinda went down my left arm.
this was 7.30 am
First thought was "heartattack!"
Second was "riiight, no it has to be tence muscles"

Found out hubby was about 10 mins away around 9am, and talked to him about going to ER just to make sure. We agreed to do so
And so we did

EKG showed nothing, they gave me nitro-spray under the tounge and oxygene. And decided to send me to Hudiksvall to be double-sure about it not being a heartattack.
So off I went in the ambulance. By now I started to get a tad hungry being around noon and no food yet, but I thought this would take like a few hours
Before I left they had put a needle in my hand, in case I needed injections
And I hate needles!

Well, arrived at Huddik, the personel in the ambulance had been doing EKG on me the entire way, and first thing they do in Huddik is to do yet another EKG
lets just say, any heart problems didnt stand a chance hiding!

Still nothing, but they decided to keep me in for monitoring for some hours
So, a blood test was taken.. in my other hand. The Veneflon was for injections only, not taking blood samples... *sigh*

then, like 20 mins later, the nurse came back, they needed MORE blood god damn it!
so they attacked my arm.

after yet another 20 mins, they took me from ER to surveilance, and YET another bloodsample was taken. from my poor left arm, god damn that hurt! "you'll have another one in 6 hours" they said, leaving me to chew nails for that time period.

And in the middle of all this, the chestpains came back after the Nitro.

when it was passed 6 pm, I was so nervous for the upcoming last test I started wandering around so the nurse offered me to get it over with. I Agreed, and pledged to take the other arm this time, the second needle in my first arm was pure torture for me in my anxiety.
No luck.. no blodvein would even dare come out on my right arm, so they had to pin my left one AGAIN

*SIGH*

after about an hour of waiting she came back with the result. Still normal. Now for some painkiller injection... and NO: NOT in the veneflon, it was intra musculary!!!!
:( the needle in my arm wasnt even uses!

So yet another pin in my body, but at least my arm got off the hook
about 20 mins later my pains just vanished.. such a releaf! Now I can go home!
Not yet.. I had to wait for doc's aproval.. about 30 mins later he showed up, told me all was fine (I allready knew that) and I could go home. they even payed most of the cab leaving me with about the price from Ljusdal Center and home (50 SEK)

So, finally arrived at home. Now eating a tad of bread before going to bed. Yes, they did feed me both lunch and dinner, but we're talking hospital food here, not really THAT tasty and not very tempting...


The worst part of this is: if they had given me a pink veneflon in my hand instead of a blue one, all of the blood-samples could have been taken there. leaving me with only two times needle.. NOT SIX!
Guess who's heading for bed?

Alone for the weekend

My husband is gone. He left yesterday and is expected back tomorrow "some time"
he left yesterday, returned again within like 20 mins with a flower to keep me company while he was gone. I really love this man :)

It is far to hot to do anything unimportant. Like decorating the hall. I started last weekend, and was thinking about finishing it this weekend. Let's just say.. hell no. NO WAY. Its to hot, I have a headace, and I even think taking a shower is too much work right now! No way I'm going to redecorate the hall in this heat. That will have to wait.

My cats appear as two wet cloths dropped on the floor. The long fured one has some strength to move around and even play for a few seconds, but both prefere to just.. drop dead and stay there sorta. I feel like doing the same

ok, my back is better when its hot. But I think I prefere having pains! I hate heat.. YUCK

***

I was reading back a bit, and found a post from 17th of january where I silently compaterd my Nikita with Ellen. Turned out I had got it mixed up, Ellen is only 12.

For now, I can tell that there is night and day in difference of Nikita from January to Nikita now in June. She comes to the gates. She is happy to see me. She is very calm, and she has started to get a routine in brushing etc. She is standing still most of the time when handled now. Still angry when she gets something strapped around her stomack tho, but that might take a while longer before its gone. I feel like my horse is getting more and more lovable as the time passes by. Now she is so calm that my hubby feels good about getting her by himself! Improvement I must say!

Yesterday

My husband joined me in the stables yesterday. I'm always happy when he wants to acompany me to take care of Nikita. So I was thinking of a normal day in the stables, hanging out arround the grass after grooming and such.

As I mix the bucket of apples, garlic (for insects) and a tad of water, he surprises me by asking "shall I go get horsie?"
I was thrilled! I got him the rope to use, and he went to get horsie. The most confused horse I ever saw came in some minutes later. like "that the hell? he doesnt get me normally, whats going on?"

Im so happy! I take this as a sign that he feels comfortable with my beloved Nikita! :D
I feel like this means he starts to feel comfortable around her, with her reactions and how to handle her, even if she is a tad spooked.

She got a bit spooked when he took her out, he told me, he dropped one of the gate-wires on the ground, and she found that freaky and was probably moving around alot, snoring in her nose and thinking that was creepy. But he handled that well, no horsie on the run, and no hubbie jumped or stepped on :D

*jumps around*

This is one of those days

...where I feel weightless somehow
not that I dont feel like touching the ground fysically. It has nothing to do with that.

I am checking out another internet provider. If they answer "correctly" according our needs we will consider swapping. If they answer only partially correctly we might swap anyway
We'll see

I feel like im in vacuum at the moment
Nothing touches me
nothing reaches me
dont know why

Is it negative or positive, I cant tell really
It just is

:(

How come all the stuff I do with good intentions always go bad?
I do things, with the best intention, and somehow they go bad




is it my fault?
actually I dont know
I dont think anyone is to blame
I should think a bit more before I do things.
My good intentions isnt always enough


As the spirits of my souls floats around me
I know of nothing but your smile
as the heartbit of your loving heart surrounds me
I know of nothing but your love
I love you