2 days left

And then its no more miss. Then I'll be Mrs Fredrik Vold.

I'll be married this time saturday. And I probably wont have time to blog anything. Kalima has made me the dress from a fairytale, and a wonderful suite for my husband to be. Man, it will most sertainly be quite a rush. Only thing that will be bigger, will be the birt of our first child.

And I think that is going to happen within the next 5 years or so. Depending how long it will take me to actually GET pregnant from when we start.. testing.. ;D

Ah well, now Im going to relax with a movie. See ya around guys

and yes kalima, if she gives me a reason to, I WILL get even. She wont know what hit her.. ;D

Thousands of wendings kvern around in my hau

well, thats part english, part norwegian, picked from The Julekalender. Some tv series sent in 1991 and Norway never recovered.

You know, some times I look at all these false people around me. Especially one, Lets call her C. She worked in my group this summer. Now she is in qualification. She is throwing shit about one of my best friends. She is probably throwing shit about me as well.

I wont go in details, since that will be throwing shit about HER, only difference being me throing the TRUE shit about her. Anyway, she is. Mudtalking. Really really bad.

Does it bother me to think she might talk bad about me? no
But it pisses me off that she is talking dirt about my friend.

so typical off me

besides, Im done riding El Zan Than for some time
and Tina wants me to ride Pålle again. After talking so much about how important it is that she is the only one riding him while riding for an instructor. After she got a boyfriend, that importance obviously dropped to nothing..

Ah well, these kids..

Today is friday

And soon its weekend.

Seems like ive added a stone to the path. Two ppl on the internet has made up a fight that has been going on for months. I think I have some part in it, since it was revealed during the talk, that a conversation I had with someone turning out to be one sides friend had something to do with the boy giving it a thougth.
so now they have made up.
Feels good, even tho its not really my problem.

besides that my daddy called. 8 times this year, its improving!
well after all, I AM getting married. Doesnt happen THAT often really.

wellwell
15 mins left at work, and Im home.. ;)
that is, in the stables

Even worse days

That be the days where I have to stay home from work. Luckily that doesnt happen too often. But today, when I woke up after about an hour or two of uneasy sleep, I figured I'd better stay home. I would be no use for ppl at work, since I had that terrible day yesterday, almost no sleep last night, and too much pain to have any spare energy to cope with lack of sleep. I would make a mess of everything I'd try to do today
So I stay home.

I dont want to talk about the pain I have, since I described it pretty good yesterday. It would be just repeating myself, so I wont. Instead, lets talk about pink elefants, and small green mice.

You know, I saw quite a few of those during the night.
Rather funny, since they all got scared of my cats.

So lets just say I kept a cat in my bed all night.
hehe
Cozy.

Now Im gonna relax a bit.


***

Just finished the budget for the salary incoming 25th of august
Man we have loads to pay
we are getting married 27th of august, an have like 5000 sek extra there
But it seems like its going pretty nifty around anyway, since estimated salary for us both is around 22K sek, and expences it estimated to be 19800 sek. leaving us with some money for food anyway.
phuh.

***

And improving yet again.
Turns out the bills for the minister, the church and pianist will arrive "some time during September"
Giving us the posabillity to pay those 2500 Nok on next salary! Leaving even MORE space in our budget!

Days like this

it is days like this that make me want to hit something. Nothing alive, but something allready dead. Like a pillow. Or the couch.

I wake up. Even before I open my eyes I feel it. Something trying to chew off my hips. And at the same time drilling up my spine and kicking my head.

yes, its a day like this. A day with RAIN. then, when I remove my earplugs, I even hear it, the rain. Drip drip drip. Rain rain rain.
so I figure, I have to work a bit to get out of bed. The pain is kinda eating me up, making me fight not to moan or scream for every step.

Byt, I know that once I get out of bed, it will get a bit better. I am always a bit stiff in the morning, but when muscles get used to move again, it will be better.
And so it is this time as well. Biting my toung not to scream I tear my body apart while getting up.
for the untrained eye I just get up.

My boyfriend is kinda close to coma this time a day so I doubt he realises my pain until he wakes up properly himself. Besides, its not really that much he can do, so we rarely talk together about my pain issue.

anyway, I get up. I stagger my way into the kitchen, feeding our lovely cats. I por the food bending as little as I can, and merely training is the reason for catfood actually ending up in the bowl and not on the entire floor. Im really good at aiming! :D

then, I go to the bathroom. Morning toilette is always a bit harder than normal these days.
Anyway, by now, Im starting to get going. Its not that hard to bend down to get things etc.
after washing my face, brushing my teeth, its time to get dresset. Now that's a challenge! first, bending down to the drawers to get the socks.. then actually putting them ON
and the pants.. all the bending is relly softening me up a tad, but it hurts.

so, when all this is done, I prepare lunch and coffee for myself and my BF. Thank god I did that yesterday, or else we would be really late for work today!

and out we go. Into the rain. the cold eats my pain for a while, but I know I will be hurting again when I sit at work shivering a bit. I get cold very easy since my muscles are very tence all the time, and days like this they are more tence than ever. So, Im the only one using a thick sweather at work. most others are using a thin sweather or tshirts.
and I get wet. Luckily I have a car. and I have my rain poncho in the car, so I wont get wet for long at least

and this is just the beginning of my day...

***

And it gets better. total misunderstanding with me and my BF, and it escalated to a fight. Wonderful..

I wanna go home :(

***

ok, so the fight has been cleared up long ago.
at this very moment it isnt raining either.
Still didnt make this day better so far. Im still at work, I still ace, and I still wanna go home.

*sigh*

Some days should be swapped early in the morning for a better one

The title Friends

Something I started thinking about just now

Friends.. like.. so many around me is calling everyone for their friend.
Even me. And some of them I dont even like or care to talk to. I swap some comments about weather and sickness, health and work. I never talk about the deeper thoughts within my mind. Like religion. Philosophy. Anything not babe'ish. And they call me friend. How can you be friend with someone when you dont have the slightest idea what is moving around in that gelly we call brain?
If they dont have the slightest idea what I am thinging about, what puzzles me, what I am talking about when I choose the subject myself, how can they claim to know me well enough to be my friend?

I figured that most people use the term "frend" like I use buddy or aquintence. Someone I know the first, maybe both names, I know where they work, and some of the things they like to talk about, but most of the times we dont have that much in common. for me, that is no friend. Thats a buddy. Work related or real life related, but still a buddy

Here I am

So, here I am

Popped into this world where I can rant my thoughts. That be new to me, yes
Will anyon listen?
Does anyone care?
I most sertainly dont. If people dont like my thoughts, they are free to leave. If they do, then great minds think alike. Or something like that.

I have since long stopped caring for mankind itself.
I study man, I see all the errors, and hope they are smaller in me than my kindsmen.
and I hope man will learn from the mistakes some day. I never give up hope
Until then, I fight hard to keep respect for people arround me. Like even the smalles tad of respect for the fact that the walking bodies around me contains Life. Life is magical, that is worth respecting.
Then, when I get closer to them, I make a judgement in my head. Are they worth respecting? yes? no? perhaps?
if yes, they have my respect. If no they dont. Simple as that

respect is nothin one has a right to by birth. It is something one earn. or give freely. I do not need to respect everyone around me. In fact, I dont even need to be polite. It just makes my life more simple if I actually am.
So I am

well, cynical or not, here I am. For those of you who care about my thoughts, feel fre to read them.
Otherwize I suggest you dont waste your time and leave for someone less cynical and harsh than me

enjoy